Friday, January 2, 2015

Only on good days

“Dating someone with severe depression is not just holding them at night while they cry.

It’s having them hurt you by growing crueler towards themselves. It’s the fact that sometimes they need to get out their anger, and they won’t know how so they’ll take it out on themselves, often hurting the people around them. It’s endless doctor appointments and having to use most of your money on bandage and pencil sharpeners. It’s watching them have panic attacks while you feel helpless. It’s knowing that no matter how mad you are at them, they’ll always be more disappointed in themselves. 

It’s being scared to leave because you fear that’ll break the last pieces of them. It’s knowing you’ll never know everything about them. It’s staying up all night worried and scared that this is the last night with them. It’s also fearing they don’t believe how much you love them, even if you tell them.

It’s wanting to hold them tight and say it’ll all be okay, but having to face the fact that they’ll only let you do that on good days.”


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