Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Inevitable



I can accept that I cannot change my or anyone's past, history, the laws of physics, the weather, human nature, someone who doesn't want to change, who you are related to, human needs, sexual preference, talent and things you do not acknowledge. But unfortunately I cannot seem to accept the one absolute thing I painfully realized cannot change.. personality traits.

I have just spent the past year and a half trying to change the person I loved and nothing has changed. The same goes for other people I have previously loved and it was all for nothing. I have wasted years trying to do the impossible and here I am standing, knowing I have failed terribly. I have made a complete fool out of myself, thinking that it's possible and the price I have to pay for it are the failed relationships and inevitable heartbreaks that followed along my failure.

I asked myself "Why?"

Why do I need to change someone into something that they are not? Why would I be with someone when I have to change them into who I want them to be, and not just appreciate who they are? Why can't I just find someone who is already what I want my partner to be? Poor judgement? Lack of self respect? Fear of loneliness? Stupidity? I guess all.

I suppose I have learned an important life lesson here. Also upset and embarrassed that I did not figure this out sooner.

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