Tuesday, September 18, 2012

We are who we are

If people took a look at me what would they see? If you look at me what would you see?

Its been hard trying to explicate myself. Sometimes I feel a rush of sensations, finding deeper meanings in a flower withering infront of me or watching clouds pass by or simply watching people move. But sometimes I feel.. Nothing. Numb. Dead. I can't process any thoughts. Couldn't even function as a normal human being. But as sick as I have always been, I know I love this part of myself. I also know that there will never be anyone else that could love this part of me. The part that shuts off anyone who tries to establish any kind of relationship towards me and even if they do, it won't be long till I shut off again. The part where I tell myself I will get better but when it all seems good I crash down again.

This, I love about myself. I don't ever want to change. We are who we are.


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